Going through menopause seems to bring up so many self-doubts, even for successful career women. Suddenly, we start second guessing ourselves, listening to the inner critic that takes center stage with our raging hormones. It was one of the things that surprised me most… how much my confidence nosedived and how difficult it was to overcome self-doubt and move forward.
Yes, everyone suffers from at least a little self-doubt, but I’ve seen so many smart, accomplished, confident women hit midlife and suddenly question their ability to try new things, to be creative, or even to figure out what to do with their life!
If you’re noticing this in yourself, here are some strategies to help you overcome self-doubt so you can move forward for your best midlife!
1. Join a women’s circle group.
It’s easy to get caught in a downward spiral of negative thoughts. I’ve been hosting women’s circles for several years now. Being in circle with other women helps you realize that most everyone else is having the same negative thoughts! We all, at some point during this midlife transition, think we’re too old to try something new. We think we’re too fat, too tired. We all think we can’t get focused or organized or follow-through on anything and our brain-fog will never go away.
It helps to hear that every other woman is going through similar experiences. When you see that smart, accomplished women whom you admire are doubting themselves, and you know it isn’t true about them! That helps you to realize that it isn’t true about you either!
(My online women’s circles are intimate, invitation-only to my email subscribers. You can subscribe here.)
2. Do it anyway!
Self-doubt is only as limiting as you let it be. Just because you doubt yourself, doesn’t mean you have to stop yourself from trying new things. Self-doubt doesn’t have to be limiting at all if you can move past it and take courageous action anyway.
Taking action, even small steps, will spark your confidence and remind you of how capable you are, in spite of all the things hitting you at midlife that can make you feel otherwise.
3. Stop worrying about what other people think.
This is one of the greatest rewards of being a woman over 50, if you can get to it. The happiest women I know have learned that most of the time, other people aren’t really that concerned with you! Or that they will celebrate and cheer with you if you try something new. But mostly that other people aren’t thinking about you as negatively as you think about yourself.
4. Develop optimism and trust the universe.
Optimism is the opposite of self-doubt. If you trust that the universe, or a higher power, is guiding you, then no matter what happens, it’s a learning experience for your higher expansion. A mantra I remember to use when self-doubt hits is: Things are always working out for me. You may not know how, and you may not get the results you expected, but trusting that it is all unfolding FOR you, rather than TO you, is a powerful way to overcome self-doubt.
5. Know and accept yourself.
Self-doubt can arise when you feel lost and disconnected from your authentic Self and your own true, inner power. This is why it’s so important to have rituals and practices that bring you back to that connection. Daily. Because being in the world can overwhelm us with stress and make us feel inadequate. It’s especially important while going through your midlife transition that you have ways to be present and mindful, to remember who you truly are.
6. Focus on small wins to overcome self-doubt.
If you have big goals, especially for soul-calling desires that you want to bring into the world, it’s easy to fall into the overwhelm trap and feel self-doubt. If you want to write a book, launch a creative business, or move to another country… those are huge, daunting projects. It’s easy to give up before you even start, especially with all the other things going on at midlife.
It sounds trite to say “focus on small wins” and for years I discounted the power of it. I’ve always been a planner-girl and love goal setting and project management, but when you break down big goals into targets and don’t meet them, it can be depressing.
One of the best things I’ve done is to start using planners that have monthly and quarterly check-ins built into the planner. My favorites are Get to Work Book and Powersheets. At the end of each month, those planners force me to acknowledge the wins, big or small.
Without a system, it’s easy to focus on all the things that didn’t get done. But I’ve realized how powerful it is to look back over each month and take time to acknowledge all the things I did get done, no matter how small. It’s a complete shift from beating yourself up to becoming your own cheerleader. Try it!
7. Use positive affirmations & journaling
Create a ritual that includes positive affirmations and journaling to overcome self-doubt. I believe so strongly in the power of these tools, especially for midlife women going through transition, that I started creating my own. You can download 10 of them immediately. Each one has 3 journaling prompts for deep reflection.
I’ve been doing some variation of morning pages for over 20 years. These are based on Julia Cameron’s idea for writing 3 pages of longhand every morning when you first wake up. You can combine this practice with reading affirmations or something else that inspires you to remember your power. A Course in Miracles is a good book to read in small snippets each morning for deep spiritual expansion.
Self-doubt is a natural part of our midlife awakening
Dealing with self-doubt is part of the human experience. This is especially true for women when we hit the existential crisis that launches our midlife awakening. This is a time of huge shifts and transformations for us, with so many unknowns to work through.
We are reconnecting with our deepest, truest selves that may have been buried for many years. Overcoming self-doubt is a huge step toward self-actualization and your spiritual expansion.
Is self-doubt holding you back from following your passions or accomplishing your goals? Reach out and let’s connect. I spent many years holding myself back and know what it’s like to agonize over time being wasted in self-doubt. I don’t want that for you. It’s time for YOU to know what it feels like to be fired up and confident!