I got in a rut recently and didn’t feel like exercising. The weather has been cold. It’s hard to run in my new neighborhood. I started reciting the litany of excuses I’ve been using lately and stopped myself mid-sentence. “Truth is, I’m just being a slacker right now, thinking it’s normal to feel lazy in midlife,” I thought.
Lazy: disinclined to work or exertion. Or lethargic, tired, indifferent. I think we’re all feeling a bit of that now after over two years of covid.
But I don’t want to be stuck there, and it’s easy to fall into the trap of letting it become a new normal. Especially for women over 50 going through menopause, because it turns out that ‘being lazy’ is, at its core, really about low self-esteem … which hits pretty much every woman over 50 at some point.
If you let laziness become the norm, you’re not engaging with your life, which can lead to even lower self-esteem. So learning to move beyond the urge to be lazy is a useful skill.
If you’re feeling lazy in midlife, use these tips to re-energize:
1. Think small. Create single action steps.
The thought of taking on a big project can be overwhelming. It’s easy to get stuck in analysis paralysis and not be able to start. And that can turn into just giving up on your goal/dream because you think it’s not achievable.
Break big projects into smaller tasks, single steps that you can focus on in little chunks of time. Use post-it notes on a kanban board or an online tool like Notion to help you manage big projects.
Think small for sticking with habits. Twyla Tharp in The Creative Habit shares the trick she used to get to the dance studio every morning, even when she didn’t feel like it. She didn’t think about the workout. She only thought about getting in the taxi. All she had to do was get dressed and get in a taxi. That’s how she followed through with her commitment to dance every morning.
2. If you’re feeling lazy in midlife, use a timer for small action steps.
The simple act of setting a timer for a specific period of time can provide the motivation and focus you need to re-energize. Using a timer frees your mind. After all, you know when you can stop, even before you get started. A timer turns your work into a race, and races are exciting.
The Pomodoro Technique is a strategy that uses 25 minutes chunks of time to work followed by a 5 minute break.
But to get started if you’re really in a slump, tell yourself you only have to ‘do the thing’ for 5 minutes. You’re only going to walk for 5 minutes, write for 5 minutes, work on that project for 5 minutes, do housework for 5 minutes.
Play a game with yourself: Don’t Break the Chain. Writers use this all the time. Keep a calendar and mark every day you ‘do the thing’ for 5 minutes, and try not to miss a day. Decide on a reward if you make it for a whole week or month.
3. Think long-term. Remember your why.
Only focusing on the short-term is a common mistake. All the hard work comes first. It’s harder to get something in motion than to keep it in motion. Once you get going, it’s easier to keep going. Look ahead and keep the long-term benefits in mind. This will motivate you to get started.
4. Visualize the results you desire.
Take the time to imagine yourself enthusiastically getting your work completed. We’ve all heard about the benefits of visualization, but few of us actually do it. Try it before starting a new project. Create a vision board with photos and statements of your end result and how excited you are about it. Try it again when you feel laziness creeping into the picture. Write affirmation statements about how great you feel now that you’ve completed your project/achieved your goal. I’m a huge believer in dreaming big and manifesting through visualization.
5. Avoid procrastinating.
Procrastination is one manifestation of laziness. It’s true that getting started is the hardest part. Avoid thinking too much about the work at hand. Jump in and get started. You’ll find that continuing to work is much less challenging than getting started. Start quickly and you won’t have time to talk yourself out of it.
Maybe you’re a perfectionist procrastinator. Focus on your single task. And practice the motto: Done is better than perfect.
6. Stick to a single task. No multi-tasking.
Multi-tasking is distracting and overwhelming. The idea of dealing with multiple tasks is enough to trigger laziness. Stick to one task. (Use the pomodoro technique to get started. Start with only 10 minutes if you have to.) Turn off your phone and alerts so you can focus on your task without distraction. When it’s complete, you can move on to another. It’s a much more relaxing way to get things done.
7. Use self-talk to your advantage.
Instead of coming up with excuses to justify being lazy in midlife, use the voice in your head to avoid laziness. Adopt an ageless attitude. Get inspired by women over 50 who are high energy, following their passion, loving life!
This is a continual practice, but effective self-talk and affirmations can have a positive impact. That’s what I did to get myself running again. I journaled about how much better I feel when I run regularly. Then when I caught myself using excuses, I reminded myself that “I am a runner. Runners run.” And that got me going. The key is to catch yourself when you’re using excuses, either aloud or to yourself. Then be intentional with your self-talk.
Try repeating positive affirmations and phrases like:
* I am guided by my soul toward my highest expansion. (This is my favorite, regular affirmation.)
* Doing what needs to be done gets me closer to my goals.
* I only have to work on this for ___ minutes. (This is a great mindset trick to get you started, like Twyla Tharp’s taxi ride.)
* It’s never too late to follow my inspiration. Age is just a number. I am vibrant, divinely guided, inspired.
8. Get some rest if you’re feeling lazy in midlife.
If you’re truly tired, rest might be the best medicine. Eat a healthy meal and get the rest you need. A little fresh air and some exercise might be beneficial, too. Make your physical health a priority. It’s easier to avoid laziness when you’re not exhausted.
9. Consider the consequences of being lazy in midlife.
Many midlife women have put off following their passions or pursuing personal goals for many years while they focus on family and careers. But something happens in our 50’s. It’s a common theme among the women I work with, this realization that time could be running out to do all those things that have been on the back burner.
We don’t want regrets as we near the end of our lives. When you’re feeling lazy, consider the consequences of not doing ‘the thing’ yet again. Maybe the trade-off of taking a small step now will outweigh the regret you might feel in the future. This might provide the motivation you need to become action oriented.
You don’t need to feel lazy in midlife
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that it’s normal to feel lazy, lethargic, or tired in midlife. Yes, women over 50 experience hormonal and psychological changes that can make us feel lethargic. But it shouldn’t be the norm.
If you need a jumpstart to get out of a rut, consider getting support. Schedule a 20 minute call with me to explore how coaching can help you set goals, create small steps that you can track, and have accountability to motivate you. Or get a friend to join you and create your own challenge and reward system to get started together.
Overcoming laziness is a valuable skill that gets easier after each successful avoidance. You’ll soon discover the strategies and mindset tricks that work for you. The hardest part is getting started. So pick one thing you can do today. You got this!